The first story
occurred when there had been a lot
of turnover in my department the last few months. The last few employees we had
just did not seem to be able to perform up to the standards we needed them to.
It was frustrating as we were desperately trying to full all of the positions
in our department and as one employee would come in another would leave. We
needed a dedicated team and we needed one fast. On his third round of interviews
my boss asked for me to take part in the interview process. I was shocked as I
had never been asked this before but a bit happy as I would finally have some
say in who may be hired. My boss narrowed his choices down and asked that I
have a mini interview with the final two choices.
I got some questions together to ask
the potential new hires. I had an idea of the types of questions my boss was
asking so I wanted to be sure to go a totally different route. I put together
some questions that had to do with teamwork and group conflict and other things
that had come up in the past. How these two interviewees answered these
questions was extremely important to me and I would make my decisions based off
of what they told me. I wanted to be sure I asked what I needed to know but also
give them a fair chance as this was a phone interview and I knew my opinion was
important to my boss.
The next day I went ahead and called
the two individuals. I did my best to make them comfortable and informed them
that I would be asking them a variety of questions. The interviews seemed to go
ok but throughout the time I was on the phone with both of them I did not feel
as though they would be right for our team dynamic. Team dynamic had been a
major issue in the past and it was imperative we got it right this time. I
ended my calls and reviewed my notes. While I had made some good notes on each
of them, I didn’t have a great feeling on who to choose. I didn’t know what to
tell my boss. He was counting on me to give him my final choice but I just didn’t
feel as though any of the two were a right fit for our team or department.
The day after the interviews my boss
called me into his office. I was confused as to what to tell him and scared to
what he might say if I told him how I really felt. I decided that it was in my
best interest to be honest with him and to tell him what I truly thought. If he
valued my decision then I believed that he would value my honesty. I was
confident that if I just gave him an honest answer he would appreciate it and
we could move forward. I informed my boss that I had done the interviews and
told him that I wasn’t sure either of the two would be right for our
department. He looked at me and smiled. “I thought you might say that” he said.
My boss went on to tell me that those were the best choices that the management
team had to choose from and they were also on the edge of whether or not they
were right for the department. They figured if they had asked me to interview
them then they could get a final choice according to how I had felt.
I was relieved! Being honest had
been the best choice and we were all on the same page. While we didn’t hire
either of the two individuals, my management team thought it would be best to continue
doing interviews until the right individual came along. We waited a few more
months, completed another few rounds of individuals and finally found the right
person. She is currently in training and appears to be a great fit for the team
so far. While we could have all chosen someone from the final two individuals,
it would not have been very beneficial to the team. The management team and I
are happy we waited it out and hired the right person for the job.
The second story occurred when I
found out I was pregnant with my first child. While the pregnancy was little
unexpected, my husband was thrilled. He had always loved children as he had
grown up in a large family where they all were very close. I was happy but very
very afraid. I had grown up in a very small family and none of us really got
along. My mother and I had a volatile relationship and it was rare when we
would get along for extended periods of time. I was scared to have a child because
I wasn’t sure what kind of mother I would be. I never wanted to have the same
type of relationship I had with my mother with my children. When you become
pregnant almost everyone asks what you would prefer to have. The truth was it didn’t
matter whether it was a boy or girl. I just wanted them to be healthy. However,
when I really sat back and thought about it, I thought to myself that I wanted
a boy. I knew my reasoning wasn’t logical. Just because I had a boy didn’t mean
my relationship with him would be great just because he wasn’t a girl, but I couldn’t
help the thought considering me and my mother’s relationship.
When my husband and I found out we
were having a girl I was elated but then the fear of my future relationship with
my daughter was all I could think about. What if she didn’t love me? What if
she loved her father more? What if I wasn’t a good mother? Question after
question rang through my head for months. When the time came to give birth, I
was more than ready to become a mommy. I was excited and while I was still
apprehensive on my new duties as a mother, I was ready to give everything I
possibly could to my daughter. When I saw her for the first time I knew this
relationship could be different. It was as if I had been given another chance
at perfecting another mother daughter relationship and I was up for the
challenge.
My daughter is now almost nine
months old and while I was not very confident in becoming a mother at first I
feel as though this is a journey that was made for me. I feel as though my
daughter is my best friend. There have been days when I am feeling down and she
looks at me and smiles as if to tell me everything is going to be ok. She is my
best friend and she doesn’t even know it. I can only hope that when she gets
older our relationship can blossom into something promising and wonderful. I
know there will be times when it may be difficult as she grows up but I feel as
though if we try really hard, we can get through the journey together.
Cassandra
R.
