Benjamin Franklin's self-improvement program
included 13 virtues that he felt were important guides for living along with
principles for each that would, in his opinion, define a person of good
character. He developed a scorecard for evaluating how well he measured up to
his own ideals. Throughout his life, Franklin tried to live by these virtues
though not always successfully.
Review Ben's 13 Virtues and
take the Virtue Quiz to find out how you
measure up against Franklin's virtues.
Select three of Franklin's virtues and reflect upon them in your blog. Ask yourself, how can I include them in my daily life?
Benjamin Franklin’s 13 virtues remind me of the Ten
Commandments. At first glance the list is even a little overwhelming and my
first thoughts were; “how is it possible to ensure that I am meeting every
expectation of this list?” I could immediately tell that I had broken some of
the virtues. Some of which I do on a daily basis actually. And while I can see
myself trying to get through the day and meeting all of the expectations set
before me, I also saw myself failing miserably. It wasn’t because, I wanted to,
but because some of my habits have been so engrained in me for so many years
that it would take some time before I would be able to successfully go through
my day having achieved all the virtues Franklin had listed.
One of the virtues that Franklin listed was Silence.
I have to admit. Depending on where I am and what I am doing, silence for me
can be difficult. I can remember growing up and on every single report card my
mother and father ever got, my teacher would mention how smart and motivated I
was, however, I was a distraction in class because I spoke too much. Endless
conversations occurred of my mother telling me I needed to control my conversations
and when they were happening. I couldn’t help it. Back then I was much more of
a social butterfly and everyone was my friend, I loved chatting up and telling
stories and making people laugh, despite the fact that it would have me end up
in the corner of my classroom most of the time.
My issue with silence has also definitely trickled into
adulthood as I tend to drive my husband crazy because I always have to have the
last word. I don’t feel like I have beaten him in the battle if I do not. Most
times I lose, as he tends to be the same way, but I really try hard to get the
gold medal of winning in a disagreement. Satisfaction of feeling the need to
win sometimes gets the best of me and at the end of it all; I usually realize
that the feeling of satisfaction wasn’t worth it. As time has gone on I have
done my best to become quieter and listen more to what other people are saying
rather than jumping the gun and coming to my own conclusions. It has actually
helped me to become a better listener and better tap into the needs and wants
of those around me.
Frugality was another virtue on Franklin’s list
which has clearly been broken by my husband! This time he is in the hot seat.
When I first met my husband he was so frugal it was impossible to do anything
with him. We were both working but every time he would get a paycheck it would
be completely gone in a day and half with no recollection on what he had spent
the money on. I nearly had a conniption many times in our relationship because he
could never tell me why he didn’t have any money left over. While I don’t completely
blame him for his ways as he was brought up in a household of frugal behavior,
I did inform him many of times that he needed to become more responsible with
his money. “If you are going to spend it, at least know what you are spending
it on!” I would tell him.
While I do admit I was a bit uptight with money, as
I grew up with two parents who did their best to save every dime and were very
good with finances. A few years into our relationship I noticed my husband
start to change his ways. He was keeping track of his money and wasn’t spending
it foolishly on things that he would argue that he needed right then and there.
It was great to see a change and how conscious he had become in helping me and
slowly we were able to take vacations and do great things with the money we
were saving. While I am still what I like to call the “Financial Accountant” in
our family, I always do my best to ensure that I am following Franklin’s virtue
of frugality.
The last virtue that I have picked is something I
know I must work on in all aspects of my life. Franklin’s virtue of tranquility
is something I have and continue to struggle with from time to time. Ever since
I can remember I have been one to have very little patience with things. Things
could easily set me off leaving me frustrated and agitated and sometimes at the
very brink of losing control. For the simplest of things I would get upset if
they were happening to quickly or not quickly enough or too much was happening
at once or not enough was happening at all. Whoever I was with or around would
wonder where my impatience came from and while I’m sure it came from my mother and
father, as neither of them are really laid back, I knew that I had a responsibility
to relax a little and try and take things one step at a time.
The one thing that I can say about motherhood is
that this 26 pound one year old has put me in my place quicker than any other
adult has my whole life. If I ever thought I could be impatient with her. I was
dead wrong. She called the shots. She told me when to get up and feed her and
change her and she told me when she wanted to nap and when and where I was
going despite some of the responsibilities I had. There was nothing I could do,
but be patient. Something I was very unfamiliar and uncomfortable with. As the
days and months moved on, I slowly started to realize, that I have let life
pass me by so many times in the past. I never stopped to smell the roses and
enjoy the sound of the ocean. There was always something to do or see or
accomplish! I couldn’t waste a moment. I had to get it all done, when really I
was missing everything. I was missing all the beautiful and fun and funny
things that were happening, with nothing really to show for it. My daughter has
been my best invention and has been the only one to show me that life needs a
little patience and tranquility. It’s so much more fun that way!
Cassandra
R.
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